Two Things I Feel Must be Discussed

1. The Bank’s elevators are a little less than safe.
2. Somewhere a security guard is laughing at me.

Let me explain.

Elevator doors, typically, are meant to open if something (i.e. a foot, purse, small child) is in their path. This is not a hard concept to follow. The elevator doors begin to close. A last minute would-be rider shoots a leg / arm out, directly in between the already closing doors. In a perfect world, not even so much perfect as it is safe, the doors open and said rider hops on and is whisked away to their desired floor. Not the case when you dare the elevators that I just got done dealing with.

I’m walking past them. Where am I heading? Back to my office, up one floor. The elevator dings, I have an inner-battle with myself and decide to be lazy, and take the elevator up one floor. The doors begin to close, I reassure myself that if I stick my foot in between the closing doors, that my foot’s presence will be detected, the doors will magically open just for me, and I can save myself 16 steps and ride to glory.

It goes more like this. I rush closer to the elevator, put my right foot at great risk and thrust it in between the doors. The doors, seemingly moving at a higher rate of speed, continue closing, resulting in me jerking my foot out of the way and making for one of the most narrow escape attempts ever.

I turn and head towards the stairs, kicking myself for being so lazy, only to notice the camera pointed directly at me that recorded the whole incident. Hence, somewhere a security guard is laughing at me. Both blogger and foot are recovering nicely.