I Kid You Not

My vacation spent in Vegas has left me blank in regards to blogging. Sure, I should have walked away with plenty to blog about, and oddly enough I did. The only problem is that if I don’t immediately write down my ideas, they seemingly vanish just as quickly as they came; I’m talking milliseconds, folks.

So to try and redeem myself for not posting a blog for weeks (apparently a blogger sine to some) I’m going to attempt and hit the highlights.

Things I Liked and Disliked about Vegas:

Seeing Cirque De Soleil’s Beatles Love show (like) – this is amazing, amazing! I highly suggest that anyone and everyone take a special trip out to Vegas just to see this show. My desire to meet and marry Paul McCartney is stronger than ever.

Sitting next to a foreigner who refuses to clap during the Beatles Love show (dislike) – How can you not be clapping? Really, no more explanation needed.

Seeing Celine Dion Live in Concert (like) – She ended with “My Heart Will Go On.” It was a beautiful moment for Titanic fans round the world.

Sitting Chairs Down from a Man with a Q-tip stuck behind his Ear during said Performance (like/dislike) – If this doesn’t exuberate class, what does I ask you? Hey, it’s like they say, you never know when you’re going to need a Q-tip in the middle of a Celine Dion concert.

Finding Said Q-tip on the floor as your exiting the theatre (dislike) – no further explanation needed.

Somewhat Grungy People Handing out Flyers for Nudy Women (dislike) – I know, I know, its part of what Vegas is all about. I just hate the clicking thing they do with them right as you pass by! Plus, but if you’ll excuse me Mr., your arm just grazed something of mine as you tried handing that flyer to someone on the other side of the street.

Debating with your Mother as to whether or not a Blue Star Covering the “Nip” can be Considered Nude (like) – No official ruling, but it was entertaining none the less.

Now on to the “I Kid You Not” portion of the blog:

As I had reached a point of my day, that I was so lazy I lacked the energy to channel surf, I flipped on the T.V. Guide channel. I figured that it would be easier for my eyes to tune in to a scrolling list of what was on, rather than muster up the energy required to continually punch the channel up button.

For all of you fellow “I’m too lazy to channel surfers,” you’ll note that the top half of the T.V. guide screen is reserved for bad programming, where has beens and never weres are hired to conduct interviews, etc. Kimberly Clarke (and no, I do not know her name because I watch American Idol) was interviewing would be contestants for the next season of AI. She asked one girl who was waiting in line to sing before the judges what was harder – Being in the army or Trying out for AI. The girl responded, “Oh this, definitely. It’s more never-wracking.”

I KID YOU NOT. (No additional sarcastic comments necessary)

Stay tuned – I’ll be posting a very special blog sometime this evening!